I had a boss that used this phrase seemingly a thousand times and I found it to be completely worn out. I have always believed that nothing is what it is as we have the power, the ability to change our circumstance…right?! Perhaps there is an exception to this rule. I recently watched a video on four families struggling with frontotemporal dementia and when a patient said, “It is what it is”, the light bulb inside of me turned on. YES. THAT IS IT! As a caregiver, I now find these four words to be my mantra.
There is nothing that I can do to change the situation. I am unable to cure my husband of his working diagnosis of Frontotemporal Dementia. The disease really is what it is. What I can do, however, is take care of me. When you board an aircraft you are given a demonstration on what to do should an emergency arise and there is a change in cabin pressure. An oxygen mask falls down and the very first thing you do is secure your own mask before helping others. As a caregiver, you need to do the same thing; secure your own oxygen mask first. You are not capable of giving 100% if you are tired, angry, frustrated, sad or lonely. Take care of you because it truly is what it is.